cover me

usually, in this recurring feature, we take a look at some of the best and worst things happening on dvd covers these days. in keeping with the halloween festivities, i thought this time around we would take a look at one of the most glorious collisions of best and worst to ever grace retail shelves - the vhs horror covers of the 1980s.

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. mom and pop video stores were opening in every little hamlet and to fill their shelves a number of them would just blindly order product without regard to quality. dozens of production companies sprang up to provide direct-to-video merchandise to these folks and a hurricane made of clamshell cases, nipples and wings hauser flattened all the good taste in its path. a favorite ploy to sell titles in the horror genre was the ol' "banned in x number of countries" gambit. and for you kids that weren't around then, these price stickers you see on a couple of these are not a trick of the light - vhs tapes routinely had a suggested retail price of $89.95. those of you who have seen your fair share of vestron, vidmark and transworld logos know the deal. enjoy.

it's a wonder any of us survived.

trailer tuesday

the seasonal tidings roll on with this week's entry, richard attenborough's magic (1978).

i would say the film was fair, maybe even good, when i am feeling generous. it could not, however, rival the concentrated burst of creepiness that was its own trailer, which had to be pulled from prime time television spots when an inordinate number of parents complained that it was giving their children nightmares. for a superior treatment of this theme, look for michael redgrave's crumbling ventriloquist in the final section of one of the best portmanteau horror films ever made, dead of night (1945). you'll put a blanket over your charlie mccarthy doll that night. unless that would only make him angry.

be true to your ghoul

many years ago in the dear, dim past, a small army of horror hosts dotted the landscape of local television markets and they were one of the greatest things that ever happened to kids like me.

king kong (1933) aired on television for the first time in 1956 and was a ratings bonanza. as a result, in 1957 universal pictures licensed a set of fifty-two films for broadcast which were pushed to local markets in a package they called shock theater. included in the package were the signature universal monsters and a number of other treats, some better than others. stations were encouraged to put together a presentation for these films and weathermen, announcers, station salespeople and anyone else they could impress into service became some of the most influential people in the lives of kids nationwide. it's hard for kids to imagine these days since so much media is at their fingertips in an instant, but this was the first chance an entire generation had to see these films, as their theatrical runs were the only previous option. this caused an explosion of interest in horror movies that probably has never been equaled. and thanks to these denizens of shabby sets with their dimestore costumes and bad makeup we had a friend and a guide to lead us through the netherworld of B-movies. vampira was one of the first and best. in her hourglass-shaped wake came various local legends like zacherley, ghoulardi and svengoolie who later gave way to subculture icons like elvira and joe bob briggs. at every level, it was all great fun but no one was better than your host. your host talked about your town and read your letters on the air.

you shared this experience completely with them. they were in on it with you when you were staying up later than you should have. sometimes the movie stunk and they said so. this time of year, you could see them in person at haunted houses and supermarket grand openings. that was bananas! for them, every saturday night was halloween. i couldn't imagine anything being cooler than that when i was eight. sometimes i still can't.

twenty years after the initial horror host boom, i came along and from this midnight television graveyard crawled the only two guys in my life that were almost as influential as my dad on the late night cinematic excursions of my childhood. the first was doctor digby.

doctor digby was on KSWO-TV, channel 7, out of lawton, oklahoma. it's a small station that serves southwest oklahoma and north texas. it's always been remarkable to me that this station survives at all. it's nowhere near a major metropolitan area and its regional appeal is extremely limited. even with that, it has managed to not only survive, but it has kept the same call letters, channel number and network affiliation through its entire history, one of a handful of stations in the country that has managed that feat. most importantly for our discussion, they allocated some of their meager resources for their own shock theater. doctor digby, and his assistant igor, came to us from a dungeon/laboratory/sixth grade classroom? that looked like it cost all of seven dollars to outfit. if i remember correctly, his schtick was that of the friendly neighborhood undertaker, which would explain the snazzy velvet tuxedo in the picture above. it was the mid-seventies which would explain the lapels. this photo was was taken at an event at the local shakey's pizza parlor on an evening that you know was rocking for all the kids in attendance. i can just imagine the conversations that took place all over southwest oklahoma playgrounds the next morning - "i shook his hand and it was ice cold!". a sleepover wasn't a sleepover without doctor digby.

hey! go turn the antenna! it's time for that other maven of the midnight matinee i mentioned, none other than the king of oklahoma horror hosts - count gregore!

count gregore is one of the very first, and longest running, horror hosts to ever grace a studio. he began with that initial shock theater package on WKY-TV in oklahoma city in 1958 and has been going ever since. for over fifty years he has moved from station to station in the market, hosting various incarnations of his program from a rotating backdrop of cobweb-strewn, fog-enshrouded sets. i caught up with him when it was called count gregore presents on KOKH-TV 25 and the influence of that show upon me was profound. i was just beginning to learn how to track these things down for myself. it was pre-internet, obviously, so it wasn't as easy in those days. it was so much more satisfying, though, to come across that thing that you had only read about in a hard-won copy of famous monsters of filmland. count gregore could take you to that place, he brought it right into your living room and was with you every step of the way in case things got too scary. that wink-and-nod, conspiratorial air that made these shows so much fun to start with began to subtly shift as i got a little older and take on an air of ritual as every saturday night i would take my place in front of the television and receive arcane knowledge. and the count was such an affable guy, a vampire you could trust. who better to instruct me in the lore of some of the best/worst films ever made? it was such a great time in my life. yes, it was kids' stuff and yes, it was a whole raft of bad B programmers but the experience was about so much more than the quality of the film. they were delivered with a sly wink that didn't override the obvious fondness that everyone involved, viewers and vampire, had for the material and for the sense of community that went with the experience. when i think back about these i feel so sorry for children today because there is a charm to these programs that just can't be duplicated. they were rough-hewn, homegrown and, most importantly, for the kids. they may have been a way to sell advertising at the beginning but the good ones, the ones with longevity, became a true labor of love. and without them, i would have missed out on a lot of the best times i have ever had. thank you, gentlemen. my gratitude is as eternal as the grave.

forecast calls for more thrills, chills

alright, the responses for twice the thrills! twice the chills! have begun to come in! the halloween double feature is about to begin. this way to your seats, please.

thomas, possibly my favorite kid in the whole world and definitely the only seven year-old i would want on my side in a fight, gets animated at his blog, awesome nine kajillion.

kate keeps it real with a couple of splendidly grubby choices at achromatic places.

bryce tips his hat to texas over at things that don't suck.

neil gives us a twisted tease at the agitation of the mind.

mr. canacorn gets back in the game, and every one of us is better for it, at awesomeness for awesome's sake.

elwood sends us his freakish dispatch from the depths of dvd hell.

chelsea does the devil's work over at something terrible has happened (plus, my favorite illustration so far!).

summer stays bedridden at crazier than shirttails.

robert reminds us that the first scares are some of the best scares over at robert steel's blog.

as more entries arrive i will update this post with links. keep spreading the word and thanks to everyone for contributing.

trailer tuesday

this week's entry, halloween (1978), serves double duty.

it kicks off our october set of halloween-themed trailers and celebrates donald pleasence's birthday. pleasence is one of my favorite genre stalwarts, the kind they just don't make anymore. as adept at devouring scenery as michael myers was at devouring babysitters, the film world is richer for his infinite fussy, fidgety bits of business. "i only make odd films", he once said and i, for one, am thankful for his unabashed devotion to genre pictures. he never phoned it in and never condescended to his audience. does it look like there is any shame in this man's game?

happy birthday, doctor loomis, you crazy bastard!

hidden horrors

they are everywhere, if you know how to look...

sweet dreams.

twice the thrills! twice the chills!

there are all kinds of reasons to celebrate here at vitagraph today. this entry marks my 100th post and october is here, the best time of year, as it contains both my birthday and halloween. so, in honor of this miniature milestone and these seasonal delights, i thought i would take the opportunity to launch a project that i hope a number of you folks take part in - twice the thrills! twice the chills!

the concept is pretty basic - you have one theater for one halloween night. what double feature do you program and why? two films and your motivations for selecting them, otherwise no limits. i leave it to your unfettered imaginations.

the first thing you'll notice when you get down to making your decision - this is hard. there are so many choices. do i go with a theme? do i choose what i would like to see on the big screen, audience be damned? how about interactive elements a la the rocky horror picture show (1975) or the midnight spook shows of yore? slow zombies or fast zombies? there's a lot to consider and a lot of winnowing to be done. time to start making some cuts!

my selections for this experiment, much like the blog (right down to the title), are a reflection of my personality as a film fan. at heart, i am a classics guy. i like things that stand up over decades. initially, i thought these picks were a little on the safe side, but, in retrospect, they are just honestly what i love and would like to share with an audience. most of you have probably seen them, but i think that fits in with my general approach as well. i like to encourage re-examination and i enjoy finding the surprising relevance in things once we blow the dust off them. plus, there is a different dynamic that takes place with an audience that is re-watching a film together. there is a camaraderie. there is a bonhomie. there are other french words. you can relax, enjoy the familiarity of a thing together, share the anticipation of the scare that's just around the corner. it also frees you to look for the more subtle surprises you may have missed the first time around. with that in mind, let's dim the lights...

my first selection for the evening is karl freund's the mummy (1932).

i couldn't very well do without the universal monster pantheon and the mummy is, without a doubt, my favorite of the lot. it is the most romantic horror film i have ever seen. the horror lies not so much in the supernatural elements, but in the agony of a forbidden love suspended through centuries of decay and torment. karloff "crossed oceans of time" to find his girl a full sixty years before gary oldman, only to have the opportunity he waited so long for crumble to dust, with his bones following suit soon thereafter. it's a beautiful film and i would show it, first and foremost, because no one has done it better in the ensuing seventy-odd years. the new series with brendan fraser is just CG idiocy, in my opinion. they are cinematic cotton candy, completely devoid of anything that makes the original resonate to this day. it's a shame they are even loosely associated via the title. hammer films produced a version of the film in 1959 that i like a great deal. it delivers shocks with a more violent monster than the 1932 version and does so all in lurid technicolor but it still lacks the gravity of the universal version. i think the center of that gravity, the key to the original's endurance, is boris karloff.

karloff's quiet dignity and implied strength is the other reason why we should watch this film again. sorry bela, but boris was it, the real deal, the king. no one else in the genre could make me believe so steadfastly that their character was capable of the grim tenacity that it took to cheat death. no one else could make me believe they could harbor the nearly-unendurable ache that could propel them through centuries. and no one else could so effectively make me pity and sympathize with what i should have instead feared. his expressive eyes, his measured gestures, not a single wasted movement - it's my favorite performance from one of the true masters of horror cinema.

the criticism i hear leveled at these universal films by contemporary audiences most often is that "they're not scary". my senses may be a bit blunted from the consumption of a lifetime of these films, but all i can think in response is "how many movies really are?". i don't watch any film expecting to be scared. i wish i was, and i'll keep chasing it because it's such a great feeling, but it seldom happens. i watch them as more of a barometer of what we, as a culture, are afraid of. in the case of the mummy, king tutankhamun's tomb had only been discovered a few years prior and accounts of a "curse" associated with it were reported in the ensuing years by sources as reputable as the new york times. the anxieties of a culture frequently turn up, sometimes exaggerated, sometimes frighteningly not, in the horrific and fantastic art of the time. it's no coincidence that the villages that spawned the universal horrors of the thirties and forties were vaguely german, with world war two looming. most of the mutations and paranoia of atomic age horror aren't exactly subtle. and the second feature of my dream double bill is perhaps the seventies' most shining example of just what we were all afraid of then...

ladies and gentlemen, the texas chain saw massacre (1974).

wonder what's about to happen there?

there are a lot of reasons for me to show this one. top of the list - it's scary as all hell. close second - there is no one i would rather see taking a saw in the belly than that whiny bastard, franklin. go cry in hell, franklin!

yes, i know he's a paraplegic. i stand by my declaration.

seriously, the real reason why this makes the cut is because this thing is a watershed film - all hideous zeitgeist and pitch black humor piled on top of jangling nerve endings. not to mention, you have the introduction of the first iconic mask in seventies horror. the unprecedented televisual access to the meat grinder of vietnam changed horror forever in america. we exchanged "us against them" for "us against us". it might as well be the eisenhower era that's about to be put on that hook in the picture above. couple this with gas shortages/manson family/watergate/a million other things and you have an environment that is ripe for this hysterical, in connotation and denotation, skewering of the american family. the incongruous comedic elements and jarring sound design serve to keep you off balance and make the brutality even more distressing. by the time we get to the family dinner sequence that comprises the bulk of the finale and marilyn burns essentially screams for twenty straight minutes, we know how she feels. laughing, crying, howling - all of it, one unending scream. this may be my austin-based bias talking, but i think it's nearly perfectly terrifying. it's cacophonous. it's exhausting. it's one of a handful of films that leaves me feeling wrung out and i think that alone is reason enough to show it. it safely allows you to experience hell. you have survived, but what is left of you?

well, there it is. hope you enjoyed the show. i'm not the type to do that "tag five people, blah, blah, blah" thing but i sure would appreciate seeing what the rest of you would choose. if you have a blog and you feel like participating, please feel free to do so. and please send a link so i can post an update and point people to you. if you have friends that would be interested, please let them know, by all means. or, if you don't blog and just want to participate via the comments section here, jump right in. the more, the scarier. thanks.

fantastic-er

i just got home from the second of the two days i was able to attend fantastic fest this year. they advertise it as the "festival with the boring parts cut out" and that pretty much sums up my experience.

my friend chelsea and i camped out at the alamo drafthouse on south lamar all day and hit the freaking jackpot. we got in to everything we wanted to see, twice getting free tickets out of the clear blue sky from generous folks. our program was even more varied and interesting today than the lineup i was able to see saturday. it couldn't have worked out better.

we started the day off with a bang with legend of the fist: the return of chen zhen (2010). this theatrical continuation of the popular chinese television series features donnie yen as both star and action choreographer and he knocks it out of the park on both counts.

an outrageous opening set piece sets the tone for some daring and imaginative action sequences throughout. it generated a round of spontaneous applause from a festival audience that has just about seen it all this week, not an easy feat. these stories are often just a flimsy peg to hang a series of ever-escalating acrobatics on, but this one is bit unique, at least for western viewers. it is set during/just after world war one, a time frame most history students are familiar with, but is filtered almost exclusively through the prism of china versus japan and what the aftermath of the great war means to the dominant powers in asia. anglo interests are minimal, if not non-existent. it is refreshing that an action film can also serve as a stirring reminder that we are not alone in this world, that the globe goes right on turning and sometimes we have absolutely nothing to do with it. the title character, chen zhen, is something of a folk hero by this point and has also been played by bruce lee and jet li in the past. the politics on display are, of course, greatly simplified in these film versions and your notion of hero and villain could vary a bit depending on how you feel about the early chinese republican era and the rise of the japanese empire. what you cannot dispute is how much ass donnie yen kicks, about one hundred of them in one scene alone. very entertaining and, in spite of its twenty-first century kicks, a little bit of a throwback. the nods to rick's place in casablanca (1942) are no accident. it was a great, and very energetic, way to start the day.

then it got dark. next up was jang cheol-so's bedevilled (2010). this festival entry from korea won this year's audience award and it was nice to see it go to something so challenging rather than more high profile, easily digestible films.

there is nothing that feels good about this film. it forgoes the quick setup that would have turned this into cheap exploitation fare and we spend the bulk of the film becoming intimate with the pain of bok-nam, the island girl who longs for a way out of her miserable existence. we see in excruciating detail the indignities and abuse she suffers daily at the hands of her husband, his brother and the elder women of the island, population nine or so - seven unfeeling monsters and one perpetual rape victim/punching bag/pack mule and her young daughter. the hint of her child possibly being molested is the last straw. she makes arrangements to make a run for the mainland but, as with everything else that happens in the first three quarters of the film, that comes to a futile and infuriating conclusion. finally, after the death of her daughter, she cracks. she stares into the sun and it tells her what she must do. it's a testament to just how horrible her "family" is that when she sinks a sickle into the throat of her first victim, a seventy year old woman, cheers erupted throughout the theater. it's an incredibly cathartic moment. thus begins a final cycle of violence that vaults this into the pantheon of the greatest revenge films ever made. you can only push a girl so far. and you will never think of bean paste the same way again.

it's not for everyone, but if you have a sturdy constitution i highly recommend it. it is full of brilliantly painful performances and lush korean location photography that highlights both the physical beauty of the landscape and how ironically fouled it is with all this degradation.

as evening fell, we left the pacific rim for ol' virginny. this turned out to be my favorite thing i saw this week, i think. in a stroke of programming genius, the festival organizers brought in the stage production nevermore - an evening with edgar allan poe. stuart gordon and jeffrey combs, who most folks know from their work together on re-animator (1985), have re-teamed as director and performer for this one-man show that lets us travel back in time to watch richmond's not-so-favorite son read, recite and unravel before our very eyes.

this was a gamble on the organizers' part, i thought. genre film fans, as a lot, can occasionally come up short in the attention span department. with so much overstimulation going on in every theater how would a one-man play based on literature a century and a half old, filled with florid and increasingly archaic language go over? in this case, like gangbusters. it was a great performance filled with tender humor, pathos and drunken trash-talking of henry wadsworth longfellow. combs was uncanny in resemblance and effective in manner. "the tell-tale heart" and "the raven" were among the signature pieces he performed but the heart of the play was in the asides and reveries. the women in poe's life turned out to be the most significant characters in the play without ever setting foot onstage - his sainted mother, his tubercular cousin/wife, recently deceased and his intended - they all were ghosts that haunted him that he exorcised with demon rum. or rye, in this case. combs' performance received a well-deserved standing ovation. i hope they do more of this type of alternative programming in the future. bring in grand guignol theater next year!

after that it was back in line for the fourth and final secret screening of the week. it turns out, we were in a select group of eleven non-badgeholders that got in to this particular event. our reward? troll hunter (2010).

this particular bit of norwegian wackiness resides at the intersection of the blair witch project (1999) and grimm's fairy tales. using the same "recovered footage" conceit as blair witch, this tells the story of a group of student documentarians who went missing after they stumbled upon a man who hunts trolls for the norwegian government. now, norwegian trolls are nothing like gnomes or other, more friendly, "mythical" creatures. these trolls bash. they bludgeon. they bite heads off. they are gigantic brutes, as dumb as the rocks they routinely dine on. this is played (mostly) for laughs and is fairly well done. it's not winning any oscars anytime soon, but as tonight's dessert, it was just right. one of the big lures of the secret screenings is the air of exclusivity that surrounds each one and this one was about as exclusive as it gets. aside from the five people - director, two producers, sound mixer and dolby lab guy - who assembled this cut of the film a scant twelve hours before, no one had ever seen the finished product before we got to. they haven't even shown it to their distributor yet. so, that's kind of fun. i got to be the first kid on my block to see it and thereby completely round out my fantastic fest experience. not bad.

looking forward to next year already. hope to see some of you there.