early sunday morning, when the new year was just a couple of hours old, our friend esme barrera was tragically, inexplicably murdered in her own home. it is heart-rending. just the idea that my little sister is so sick with grief is too much for me to stand, much less all the other terrible and far-reaching ramifications of this horrible crime. i can't recall another time in my life when so many people that i love were in so much pain. our whole city, at least our part of it, has had its heart broken. perhaps we can take solace in the fact that the overwhelming outpouring of love and support from hundreds of friends is a testament to just exactly how universally adored esme was. perhaps there is no solace to be had right now. i am not sure it is possible in the immediate wake of something so awful, random and unnecessary.

i was lucky enough to know esme through our job at the record store together, the same way a lot of my other friends met her. to a person, every one of them will tell you that she was kind, funny, irrepressible, loving, caring and giving. it's the absolute truth and it's an understatement. she deserved better. i will always hear haylee's voice, telling me about it, "she was a good girl, all she did was go home". she was more than good and this has left an irreparable hole in inestimable hearts. the only thing i can really think to do now is honor her example. you know those people that you're in the trenches with every day, behind record/book store counters, waiting tables together, teaching kids, whatever else you do? pick them up at every opportunity. let them know what they mean to you. if their face is the one that always brightens your day, tell them so. haylee, bobby, summer, joe (and i don't mean to slight anyone by not mentioning you specifically, this is just who is at the forefront of my jumbled thoughts right now) and all my other dear friends, i love you and i don't know what i would do without you. i know how much everyone is hurting right now and i am so sorry. until you see her again, know that she is saving you a space.


  1. Can't tell you how sorry I am to hear this Cole. Let me know if there's anything I can do.

  2. It seems many of my friends were a friend to this interesting soul. I'm so sorry for the loss and the pain surrounding it.

  3. thanks, kate. it was our honor to know her.